Real Life Leadership: Boundaries need to be set to keep workplace a comfortable environment

This week's Real Life Leadership column is online - Boundaries need to be set to keep workplace a comfortable environment.

Over the years, I have had situations arise where people's behavior were clearly out of line.  One of these situations was a two hour presentation on organizational community building that I was to give to a group of local civic leadership. It was part of a day long symposium. The first hour was devoted to local economic development. A group within the larger group - I call them the Gang of Five - high-jacked the speaker's presentation. They did not like the approach his business association took with economic development. They pelted him with questions, and he finally had to leave the event without finishing his presentation because he had another meeting to attend.

As I sat there, I was thinking, if they do this to him, what will they do to me?  So, in probably the most courageous thing I had done in my life time up to that point, with the approval of the director of the program, I decided to abandon my talk and spend my two hours debriefing what went on.  It was a great lesson in doing the right thing at the right time.

There were forty-five participants attending.  During the first hour the Gang of Five all ranted their opinions about economic development in our community. Another dozen spoke up and offered their thoughts. After an hour, I knew there were opinions that were not being said. So, I silenced those who had spoken.  I forbid them to speak for 20 minutes.  As a result, the rest to the group began to speak.  It was an incredible display of anger, frustration, disappointment and resentment at this group of five people who wasted their time and money.  At the end of two hours, I had not given my community building presentation, but we had built community.

Two weeks after that event, one of the Gang of Five called me and asked me to come work with his organization on a variety of issues.  We have now worked together for eight years and he is a close friend and colleague.  People who attended that event still reference it when we see each other.

This is an example for how appropriate social boundaries can be managed. The lesson is that the Gang of Five's right to speak does not cancel out the other forty people's right to hear the presentation and make up their own mind.  If we take seriously the social nature of our organizations, then we'll understand how important it is to protect the social climate of the group so that people feel like that they can trust the environment. 

Comments

[Michael Wagner]

Wow! This story gives me hope.

And reminds me to embrace the conflict and not allow it to go "underground" and become all the more toxic.

Thanks Ed for telling this real life leadership story.

Keep creating,
Mike