After being curious about human relationships for over 30 years, I have not lost the impression that the last great untapped resource in organizations is the interaction of people.
For a moment, place yourself in an office where a sizable number of people work. Two things you'll see. One is people doing individual tasks. The second, people interacting with people. A typical work day is shifting from one to the other.
If you ask people what their job is, mostly likely they will tell you that it is the task work that they are doing. That is how they are measured to a large degree.
The problem with this is that the quality of human interaction is a critical factor in how well businesses deal with change and economic downturns. We don't see our relationships in this way. They tend to be treated as secondary.
The Adventures of Johnny Bunko by Daniel Pink is a career guide. However, if you read it with an eye to understanding the human interaction in it, you'll learn some other lessons as well. This is part of the reason why I believe Saying Thanks, Every Day is the right 7th lesson for Johnny to adopt.
Johnny Bunko is an average guy who is stuck in the wrong job because he listening to well-meaning, but wrong career advice. A magical career guide named Diana appears to lead him through six lessons. There are however other people in the story who contribute in various ways toward Johnny finding his path. With each person, he has a legitmate reason to thank them. Let's do a run down.
Parents - for loving him enough to give him advice, even though it was not the best
Boss - for having high enough standards that showed Johnny that he was not suited to be an accountant
Waiter - for asking a question that led to his being given the seven magical sets of chop sticks
Carlos - for being an enthusiastic friend
Yuko - for being the skeptical friend
College counselor - for trying to give him good advice, and failing excellently.
HR hiring staffperson - for giving him the job that would lead to finding his career niche
Lakshmi - for giving him the opportunity by not totally discounting his ability to make a difference on their team
Dave - for being a friend who kept trying with him.
You may think that this is pretty superficial gratitude. And it may be. But saying thanks is not accumulative, it is transformative. You can't store it. It can only be used to take a relationship to a new depth. Then you have to say it again.
The deeper our gratitude goes and is expressed, the deeper the relationship becomes. As a result, we have people in our lives who will go the extra mile when we need them to do so.
Saying thanks every day is one way we explicitly live out lesson # 3 - It's not about you. Remember what Diana says to Johnny?
So I don't matter at all?
Of course you matter. But the most successful people improve their own lives by improving other's lives. They help their customer solve it's problem. They give their client something it didn't know it was missing. That's where they focus their energy, talent, and brainpower.
Outward, not inward.
Exactly. And you're not in this alone. Think about Lakshmi and Dave, or Carlos and Yuko. The most valuable people in any job bring out the best in others. They make their boss look good. They help their teammates succeed. So pull your head out of your ... ego. Then sit down with Dave and get back to work.
Every interaction in a business setting is a transaction. We are exchanging ideas, collaborating to make a difference that is needed. We agree to work together. Saying thanks completes the transaction.
But the transaction is more than that it is transformative. It changes things. When we express gratitude, we build trust. A person who is grateful for what I've done for them, is a person I trust because I understand that they see beyond their own self-interest. That is an important element in trust.
When then do we not see this? Why do we think that it is all about us?
One reason could be that we are in the wrong place, like Johnny. We aren't doing what we are gifted to do.
Another is that we are afraid, and self-centered, worried about tomorrow, and we think that I have to focus on my responsibilities to get through.
Or, we could think that it is about us, and therefore people are just objects in the way of getting what I want.
If an environment of gratitude is to develop in a business, there also has to be an atmosphere of welcome, of openness, that my gifts and talents have an opportunity to make a difference.
Lastly, we could be stuck in an organization that is poorly function. Analyze where you are with the Circle of Impact Leadership conversation guides . Look at how thanks and welcome, gratitude and openness fit into the ideology, structure and relationships in your business. If they aren't fitting very well, then you have some indication for where to start to make changes.
Having reread Johnny Bunko to prepare this post, I'm more aware of the relationship dimension that is important to the story. I'm more convince that Saying thanks every day can create a revolution of thanks and welcome that transforms how our businesses function. It is one of the few certain keys to future success.
Ed, Another great post. You're right. The people in our lives, even those who appear at first glance to be negative, are often the very things that propel us into better things. And for THAT we are grateful. I had horrible bosses at my last job - and I thank God that the situation worked to get me out of there and where I am today.
If we aren't grateful for where we are, what we have, it's impossible to receive more. I'm really enjoying you on Triiibes and this blog as well! Your page is up at http://lessonseven.wordpress.com! Thank YOU for sending it!!
Posted by: Becky Blanton | December 31, 2008 at 08:01 PM