Leading Questions

The cost of gratitude - a Thanksgiving Day rant

My post yesterday on the mutuality of gratitude did not fully capture one aspect of what I was trying to express. Shawn Alladio's comment really helped me to see this.  I guess I was being too gracious. Thank you, Shawn.

When I say that giving thanks is not about you or me, I mean that it is not intended to make us feel good. It is intended to connect us to another person in a way that transforms the relationship.

Our best expression of thanks today may well be a confession of failing to be grateful to others. By expressing gratitude and appreciation to someone by saying I'm sorry, rather than simply "thanks," we open up the possibilities of change in our relationships.

Gratitude is being treated today as an alternative therapeutic device to move unhappy people toward a more positive, hopeful outlook on life. Being grateful can have the effect of making us feel good. I'm happy for those who have found this for their lives. However, this is not why we are to be grateful people. It is a by-product of something else.

When I say thanks, I want that other person to feel good. I want to connect with that person on a deeper level of human interaction than we had the moment before.  When done with sincerity and humility, it has the power to transform the relationship. To heal, to unite, and to give purpose to the relationship's future. 

There is no genuine gratitude in our lives without the recognition that our lives are made by the contributions of other people. When I thank someone for contributing to my life, I'm saying that a hole has been filled by their kindness, their honesty, their sacrifice or their love.

It isn't about me or you and how we feel. It is about recognizing that other people give us the life we live. Without them, we are nothing. There are no self-made men or women. Those who try to be, who think they are are the small people, confined into the narrow world of their own perception. 

Gratitude opens and expands our perception of the world, because we see the gifts and potential of others. When we do, we can express our appreciation for who they are and what they give, regardless of whether it has directly impacted our lives or not.

The power of gratitude is the power be free from our own narcissistic self-importance to a more humble, open relationship to others.

Let me end with one simple story.

Millie Brown was my fourth grade teacher. I was the one student that she had that year that she had to discipline regularly. Once or twice a week, I'd stay after school and write a page out of the dictionary. Then I'd walk the two miles home.

Ms. Brown changed my life that year. I learned boundaries, and a lot of new words. I'm grateful to her for her commitment to be a teacher who cared enough for me, her student, that she'd not let me get away with being an uncontrollable force in the classroom.  Her impact upon my life remains with me to this day.

Years later, I was able to express my gratitude to her as we served together in our church's ministry to members in the hospital. We'd visit people together. It was a sweet way for the relationship to find completeness, and mutuality.

Today, may your expressions of gratitude cost you your pride and self-importance.

May you find healing and openness in your relationships with family and friends. May those you thank find a person transformed by your appreciation for their contribution to your life

Let us return the soul to Thanksgiving Day. Become a person for whom Saying Thanks Every Day is not a therapeutic approach for feeling better, but rather how we live each day in relationship to one another.

Mutual Gratitude

As US residents prepare for a Thanksgiving gathering of family and friends, I gentle reminder about what giving thanks means.

It isn't about you or me.

The purpose of giving thanks is not primarily to make us feel better. It may do that, but that isn't the purpose. If we are to feel anything, it is humility for appreciating and recognizing the gifts and impact of other people upon our lives.  

A well stated expression of gratitude should honor the person whom you are recognizing.

If you are at you in-laws house, like I will be tomorrow, tossing out a glib thank you only shows your insincerity. It is better to say nothing than be insincere in expressing thanks.

Being sincere in expressing thanks demands that we look deeply into the effort and thought, and the effect of another person's actions.

Expressing thanks humbly and sincerely has the potential for transforming the relationship. When it does, then the expression of thanks becomes mutual. This is the ultimate goal of thanksgiving.

Mutual gratitude is the shared recognition that our relationship matters to one another and that we are grateful for the other person's impact upon our life.

The more specific you can be in expressing thanks, the more likely it will be that a mutual return of thanks will be offered.

May our hearts be filled with gratitude for the recognition of the goodness that comes to us through other people. 

Thanksgiving is more than ...

Yesterday, two friends each sent me emails each focused on different aspects of giving thanks and expressing gratitude.

Thanksgiving is more than a feeling.

Bill Kinnon sent me a Go-To-Market Strategies piece called - When did you last say "Thank You" to a customer? . They offer this word of advice.

Make it personal. You should hand write it. We know...UGH. That's a lot of work. You may be tempted to email your thank you...and maybe you should do that too. BUT, a handwritten, old fashioned thank you note, will take you farther. Why? Because NO ONE else is doing it in today's business world. Also, be as specific about what you are thanking them for, as that makes it much more relevant and genuine. But do not ask for anything in your "thank you." Just be thankful!

This is not just a good idea, but a good thing to do. Today, drop into a local bookstore and buy a box of note cards. Back at the office, take a half-an-hour and write the notes and put them in the mail today. Act quickly as you can to tangibly express gratitude.

Thanksgiving is more than social etiquette.

Tom Morris sent me a link to this NY Times review - Gratitude's Grace Can Be Itself a Gift - of Margaret Visser's The Gift of Thanks: The Roots and Rituals of Gratitude.

“The Gift of Thanks” is a scholarly, many-angled examination of what gratitude is and how it functions in our lives. Gratitude is a moral emotion of sorts, Ms. Visser writes, one that is more complicated and more vital than we think.

English speakers are obsessed with the terms “thanks” or “thank you.” We often say these words more than 100 times a day, she writes, in a flurry that many other cultures find baffling.

The notion that we should thank others is not hard-wired into our brains, but learned from our parents. For a child, she writes, “the first unprompted ‘thank you’ is momentous enough to count as a kind of initiation into a new level of human consciousness.” In people suffering from Alzheimer’s disease, little words like “thanks,” she notes, “often survive the shipwreck of all other memories.”

I've not read her book. I look forward to it.

Gratitude needs to be a tangible way to create openness and a mutuality of the affections of gratitude. Read this excerpt from her book. It shows me that gift giving as an expression of thanks is too often a covering up of genuine feelings and tangible actions.

Today, we use paper to cover our gifts, and it is not primarily because they are in need of protection that we wrap them. If we mail a gift, we first carefully wrap it in special "gift" paper — the prettier, the better — and then enclose it, as a safeguard during the journey, in something sturdy and commonplace like brown paper or a plain envelope. Gift wrappings are folded with care. The string that binds a mere parcel becomes, for a gift, a ribbon, often with bows and rosettes added — anything to replace with embellishment the toughness of workaday knots. Extra trouble is taken because of the need to declare that, whatever it is, the thing thus enclosed is not a commodity.

A gift nowadays has almost invariably been bought. As such, it is certainly a commodity, but one that is summoned now to become something else. The wrapping is a sign that the object has changed into a gift. When, on increasingly rare occasions, we give something we ourselves have made — edible gifts mostly, such as jams and chutneys and cakes — we often feel little compulsion to wrap them. We occasionally enfold but fail to hide them, by covering them in something revealing such as cellophane. Not hiding by wrapping means that this present was not bought in a shop. It was made to be given away, not to make money; it does not need, therefore, to be converted into a gift.

We do work at shopping, however, quite apart from having first saved the money to buy gifts. As Christmas draws closer, we spend time fighting our way daily through the shopping crowds, returning from each expedition exhausted, with arms weighed down and aching feet. And we complain. Christmas has gotten out of hand, we say. It has become too commercialized. We are all so greedy, so demanding, and so exigent nowadays. It really is too much. These objections may be true, but our struggles and complaints mean in part that the gifts we have bought have manifestly cost us trouble. We may not actually have made them, but everyone is aware — our own grumbling making sure it is understood — that work, freely undertaken, went into their acquisition.

Thanksgiving is more than feelings, more than social etiquette, more than a public display of our own magnanimity.

It is the appreciation and recognition of the impact of other people upon our lives with the hope that its expression is mutual. When it is, that is when the real transformative power of gratitude has the potential strengthen families, communities and even businesses. It is for this reason that we should Say Thanks Every Day.

Becky

See Becky Update below

Today marks a milestone in a story of a woman whom many of us have come to know and love. Mid-morning in an auditorium in Oxford, England, Becky Blanton will cross the stage and address the TEDGlobal conference about how she has gone from being homeless journalist living in van three years ago to being an invited speaker at TED.

The door opened for Becky to speak because she won the Johnny Bunko contest last winter. It was through the Bunko contest that I came to meet Becky. I was one of the three finalists in the contest. Becky, as an expression of the magnanimous person that is, secured an invitation for me to join an online social network of leaders started by Seth Godin, called Triiibes. That is a story in itself which you can read about here, here, here and here.

Becky's story is more than Johnny Bunko and more than being homeless and living in a van. Here's how she described it to some of us a couple weeks ago.

The important thing is not the whole homeless story - but the fact that our reality is based on our perceptions. Any of us can change our situations, find our hope, change our circumstances. Few of us will do so in such a dramatic fashion, but I was hard-headed and kept "trying to make things work," and failed. My commitment to my pets is what kept me in the van. I refused to give them up and accepted a choice (keeping my animals) of living in a van rather than giving them up and moving into an apartment. All choices have consequences - and gifts. This choice had both. (emphasis mine.)

I'm very happy for Becky. She deserves this moment in the public eye as much if not more than anyone I've ever known. I'm grateful for her friendship, and wish her all the best as she speaks today. An early recording of her six minute talk had me in tears.

After writing the above, Becky sent a report to her tribe of supporters. Here's some of what she has experienced, along with some pictures. It captures part of the person that Becky is.

From Becky at TEDGlobal2009/Oxford:

This is the view from my room at TED! I know. I couldn't believe it either - but it's what I visualized for the last six months so I guess the law of attraction works! ...

Okay. Bear with me....this is the TED experience beginning with arrival....

Spent the day sightseeing on a tour bus and talking to the driver, Alan. He's invited me back to stay with his family if I come back. I handed out cards to everyone on the bus who was curious about TED. My cards say, "It is not our abilities that define us. It is our choices." Alan drops me off at the door to Keble College, not on his regular round of stops, but he's a NUMBER ONE customer service oriented guy!!

Nick is a physicist studying at Keble College. He wants to be a journalist. We talk journalism and vandwelling as he carries my bags to my room overlooking the quad and the building that is the TED Global centerpiece.

Shelia Bailey owns Daisies Flower Shop in Oxford. She's responsible for the flowers for the TED party tonight. She loves Oxford and pointed out the best seating and the place where there's most likely to be a breeze. She gives me her card as well and shows me the inside of her flower van....since I love all things vans...having lived in one.

Miles is the IT guy who ""fixed my mac" but it broke again. I figured out how to reset it this time. He camps and we talked camping and vandwelling. Now I know where to go to park on 3,000 year old trails in England!

I arrived early and saw the guys with the hawk demonstration and asked to take photos...and to let the hawk land on my hand!!! THEY SAID YES AND I GOT TO PLAY WITH THE HAWK!!!!!! My TED experience is complete. I also talked to the Tom's shoes folks - they said "HI Seth." They said you told them you really liked what they were about and the shoes when they saw you in California.

Albara Alohali is here from Saudia Arabi. He has a new Canon camera. We talked about settings and then got shoes. He didn't want to play with the hawk.....He's the guy setting up Saudi Arabia TED. Lots to do after registering.....no line! Pays to be early!

Then it's off to the TED stage! Got pictures of "Griff" sleeping. He started work at 4  a.m. this morning and is "beat." There have been 24 presentations - practice, since they set up. Several other folks hand me off to various people until I arrive at the AV (audio Visual) room where I am told I am DEEPLY loved. I have no audio visual stuff so they get a 30 minute break. They need it. There is no air-conditioning here and it is HOT HOT HOT!!! My room is gorgeous....just remodeled...in the oldest wing of the school.

And lastly the story of the hawk...

Right off the bat stuff has been cool! I got to play with a hawk!! Hawks, the handler said, are "Tribal animals." When they get used to human beings and learn to trust them, the human becomes part of their Tribe. More on that in a separate blog post, but here's a cool photo! Yes! I got to wear the glove and "catch" the hawk about a dozen times!!! FUN FUN FUN!!!

And in a follow up email she wrote...

I told Bruno at dinner that my TED experience was already complete - I got to play with the hawk! He said, "Yeah, talking tomorrow pales in comparison I'm sure!" Glad he has a sense of humor! I don't have room for ALL the stuff I did, but basically the locals here are really friendly and told me where to go to drink beer in the bar where Bill Clinton smoked pot, where to get the best photos of the boats on the river, where the best fish & chips are - (they were right)...all the fun stuff they don't cover in the tour books. And the bus drivers know my name! Talk about great customer service - these bus tour guys are awesome!

Becky Update

My TED talk is done. Parts went great, parts I forgot. I hope they can piece it together. As much as I practiced and memorized - it all flew out of my head halfway through. Thank God for notes. Actually, now that it's over, I think I've forgotten the whole morning. Not unusual. What shocked me so much about the experience was the kindness of strangers. So many smiling faces - so many people wanting me to do well. I hope I did. It was the hardest thing I've ever done - even harder than living in the van for a year. Too much to blog about, but it was intense. (emphasis mine.)

Dan Pink rearranged his schedule to be there in the front row cheering me on. He is amazing. Simply amazing. I walked over and shook his hand at the end of my talk....it was too emotional....I don't have the words to describe it. But something inside me changed. For the good! Lunch is in an hour. Amazing people. Amazing speakers. I can't believe I can't form complete sentences or function, but it is that powerful, and those are just the TED University folks.

I think I just want to go somewhere and cry. It's intense. So intense to be here. If you get a chance to go to TED - do it. You'll never regret it. And this is just the first day. wow.

Later that day ...

I must have done better than I thought. People came up to me all day and night, crying and hugging me. I spent almost an hour in the bathroom because as I was washing my hands women kept coming in the door and stopping to tell me their story and their feelings after hearing my talk. I'm stunned at how intensely people WANT to connect with other's experiences. A female doctor took a year sabatical to live on a boat and told me she got the same response. People saw her differently and treated her with hostility. When she moved off of the boat after a year, people went back to treating her like a doctor. It made her so angry. (emphasis mine.)

A woman who had been kidnapped and tortured, held hostage and raped for months - also identified with it. Non-Americans were more moved than Americans and identified more deeply. I've never been hugged and cried so much in my life. Everyone wanted a longer speech and more details. It was a great way to get stories. I asked what they liked best about the talk and wow! The floodgates opened! It was like getting my own personal TED experience hearing people's stories....just incredible!! What I saw as "forgetting my place," the audience saw as emotional pauses....so, it worked I guess. Humbling. Totally humbling experience.

I remember about three faces on the front row. People tell me that there was a standing ovation, people crying etc. but I didn't hear a thing. I remember walking over and leaning off of the stage to shake Dan Pink's hand (he was in the front row) and then the moderator/host saying, "And that's what we call a "TED" moment." Apparently there were a lot of tears, but I remember a hug from the host and Dan.

Real Life Leadership: Showing Gratitude should be a Daily Practice

After a two month hiatus, my Real Life Leadership column is back and online.  This weeks' column - Showing gratitude should be a daily practice - is a message to people who have lost jobs during the recession. The most recent statistics show that unemployment is at 13.2 million people or 8.5% of the non-farm workforce.

I know a number of people who have lost their jobs. Each has taken the change as an opportunity to venture in new directions. Their ability to do this is partly do to an attitude of gratitude.

We each have a choice about how we handle adversity. We can feel self-pity, and become paralyzed from taking the actions we need to make,or we can pick ourselves off and get back in the game.

Precisely, what is an attitude of gratitude. Here are a few ways of understanding what I'm driving at.

1. Gratitude is appreciation for what you have, even if it is just a little.
My friend Meridith Elliott Powell told me about her trip to South Africa. She and her friend were doing mission work in one of the poorer districts of the country. She came home transformed by the people she met. As she recounted it to me, these people had nothing, yet they were happy, gracious people. She concluded that they had learned to appreciate whatever they had right now. They lived in the present, because the future didn't hold much hope for them. Appreciation for what we have helps to see that all that we have is a gift.

2. Gratitude is appreciation for people who matter to us. Recently, I realized the impact that my parents had had on me. Once when I was young, I took a pack of gum from the drug store. My father saw me chewing the gum in the back seat of our car as we drove home. Instead of flying off the handle, he turned the car around and took me to see the store manager. Any temptation toward shoplifting was squelched by my father's wise act. Several years later as a mischievious junior high school kid, a couple of friends and I were tossing firecrackers off a hill into the parking lot of a shopping center. My mistake we set the field where we were on fire, burning up a number of talk pine trees that bordered the parking of the center. We told the management of the grocery store, and then fled each to our homes. My mother's kind understanding of my embarassment, and recognition that I had learned a lesson show me what the nature of forgiveness and redemption truly means. Ironically, today, there is a fire station at the location of our brief pyromania career.  The wisdom of parents didn't hit me until I remembered these two incidents. I'm grateful for their kind treatment of their rebellious son.

3. Gratitude is appreciation for the opportunities in the past and the future.  When we lose our job, we are thrust into a situation of fear and ambiguity. We don't know what to do right away. So, we feel wronged, angry and victimized. It is important that we get over it as quickly as possible. Losing one's job may be the best gift one could receive. Being forced to look for a new job may just the impetus to start your own business or begin a whole new journey in your career. Appreciate the opportunities you have everyday, and make the most of them. Think that nothing is for certain or last forever, and remain open to new opportunities that come.

What do you appreciate? What are you grateful for? Sharing in the comments, or better join a group of us over at a social network site focused on the expression of gratitude called Say Thanks Every Day.

BlogTalkRadio Interview 11amEDT 3/18/09

I'll be interviewed by Wendy Siegel of BlogTalkRadio today at 11:00 EDT/US. The interview will go 45 minutes.

I'll be talking about the Johnny Bunko contest ,my lesson Say Thanks Every Day, and on how the Four Questions that Every Leader Must Ask can be applied by leaders in their businesses and communities. 

You can connect at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/webwendy/2009/03/18/Tribe-Talk-with-Ed-Brenegar .

Reflection on Gratitude

I'm being drawn into a deeper world of understanding the nature of gratitude. What I realize is that it is not something I can learn on my own. No one person's life contains enough of the material to paint the picture of what gratitude is. It is so personal that it requires stories to communicate it.

I've create an online social network - Say Thanks Every Day - to provide a place for people to express gratitude. It is a work in progress. I'm no web geek, though I know some. There's work to do on the site, but it is functional, and serviceable for the purpose I need it right now.

I simply a messenger for an idea that millions of people appreciate - the act of saying thanks. I want to continue that role of messenger by helping you tell your stories. That is why I create Say Thanks Every Day.

Come share, say thanks, and encourage others to do the same. This is our network of gratitude.

A place to Say Thanks Every Day

The Johnny Bunko contest ended a couple weeks ago. However, the life of the idea of Saying Thanks Every Day lives on. The response to the idea has been overwhelming. What people have told me is that there is a transformative power to gratitude.

Encourage by these developments, I have created a place where people can tell their stories about the transformational power of gratitude, and where they can say thanks every day.

Go to Say Thanks Every Day and tell your story, share a picture, a video or a song. 

I'll have more to say later. I wanted you to know that this is the first step in creating a global conversation about thanks and gratitude.

Thank you for sharing this with your friends, family and colleagues.

Eyewitness to the miracle on the Hudson

I received an email from my friend Stan today with the following account of the USAirways plane that crash landed on the Hudson River.

Please note as you read this story the number of people who came to the aid to the passengers and to whom they all owe a debt of gratitude.

This American Airlines Pilot was deadheading on flight 1549. Here is her story from a slightly different perspective.

 The following is an exclusive account for our members from one of our pilots who was onboard US Airways Flight 1549 when the pilots made a successful emergency ditching into New York’s Hudson River. First Officer Susan O’Donnell is a LGA-based 767 pilot. She resides with her family in Winnsboro, South Carolina.  Susan is a former Navy pilot, hired at AA in February 1990. She has flown the 727, F100, A300 and now the 767.

The following is her account of the flight, the rescue and recovery response, as well as the support she experienced afterward. This is intended to give each of you a unique insight into the event. We also hope that the crew’s tremendous effort to take care of each other and the nearly instantaneous support of USAPA and APA responders become “takeaways” for our pilots to use when faced with an emergency.

I was a jumpseat rider seated in First Class on Flight 1549 from LGA to CLT, which successfully ditched in the Hudson River. I’ve been asked to share a few of my experiences on that day. Although it was a stressful incident, the
successful outcome and the assistance and support I received afterwards have been truly humbling and inspirational.

After introducing myself to and being welcomed aboard by Captain Sullenberger and FO Skiles, I was offered seat 3D, an aisle seat in the last row of First Class. I was in my uniform. Another jumpseat rider took a seat in row 6. These were the last empty seats on the airplane. I wasn’t paying much attention to the flight until, climbing out, there were several loud thumps occurring roughly simultaneously along both sides of the aircraft. “Bird strikes,” I thought. A few seconds later, there was a bit of smoke and the stench of burning bird that seemed to confirm my guess. There was a turn to the left, and I assumed we were returning to LGA.

The passengers were concerned but calm. I couldn’t see any part of the aircraft out the window from my aisle seat. Although I didn’t hear much that sounded encouraging from the engines, I expected we would have at least partial thrust with which to limp back to LGA. We rolled out of the turn, and I could tell we were not maintaining altitude. Then we heard the PA: “This is the Captain. Brace for impact.”

Obviously we weren’t returning to LGA, and I could see enough out the window to realize we’d be landing in the river. The flight attendants began shouting their “brace” litanies and kept it up until touchdown. The descent seemed very
controlled, and the sink rate reasonably low. I believed the impact would be violent but survivable, although I did consider the alternative. The passengers remained calm and almost completely quiet. As we approached the water, I braced by folding my arms against the seat back in front of me, then putting my head against my arms. There was a brief hard jolt, a rapid decel and we were stopped.  It was much milder than I had anticipated. If the jolt had been turbulence, I would have described it as moderate. Thinking about it later on, I realized it was no worse than a carrier landing.

After landing, the attitude of the aircraft was slightly nose high, but not far off a normal parked attitude, and there was no obvious damage to the cabin or water intrusion where I was. No one was hurt or panicked. We all stood up. I
could hear the doors open and the sound of slide inflation. There was a verbalcommand “Evacuate;” people were already moving towards the doors. I exited through the forward right door and entered the raft. The evacuation up front was orderly and swift, and we were not in the water long before being picked up by various boats, which were extremely quick to the scene. Many passengers were standing on the wing, going from feet dry to nearly waist deep as the rescue progressed. They were of course the first to be picked up by the arriving boats. I was picked up by a large ferry boat, climbing a ladder hanging from the bow.  It didn’t take long to get all passengers into the boats and to the ferry terminals.

Once at the terminal, we were met by police, firemen, paramedics, FBI, Homeland Security, the Red Cross, Mayor Bloomberg, and more. Captain Sullenberger continued in a leadership role in the aftermath, talking with the passengers, assembling his crew and including myself and the other jumpseat rider as members of his crew. I was impressed to note that he had the aircraft logbook tucked under his arm. When the Captain asked me if I wanted to join the crew at the hotel, I told him I would really appreciate it as I had lost my wallet. He immediately pulled out his wallet and gave me $20. His concern for me when he had so much else to worry about was amazing.

The USAPA representative was on the scene very quickly, and again included the other jumpseat rider and myself with the rest of the crew. I didn’t see a flight attendant representative; USAPA took care of the FAs as well. The USAPArepresentative escorted the entire crew to the hospital (we rode in a NYFD fire truck), where we were joined by other USAPA reps and the USAPA lawyer, all of whom continued to consider me as one of the crew. At the hospital, I had finally called the APA “in case of accident” number on the back of my ID badge for APA. I had not initially thought of that as applying to my situation, as a jumpseater on another airline, but I called anyway. I spoke with APA LGA Vice Chairman Captain Glenn Schafer, who departed immediately to come assist me.

After a routine evaluation, they transported us by police car to a hotel, where rooms were waiting. The USAPA version of our Flight Assist was also there, and they spoke to me and offered me whatever assistance I needed, again as if I was one of their own. The USAPA reps also brought all of us some clothing and toiletries that they had purchased. Captain Schafer arrived at the hotel, bringing me some necessary items. He stayed overnight at the hotel, making
flight arrangements for me to go home the next day and escorting me to the airport. Captain Mark Cronin from the AA NY Flight Office met me at the departure gate, again offering assistance and support.

I am grateful for the many calls of concern and offers of help I have received, from fellow pilots, union representatives and the company, and I am grateful for and proud of the response and assistance of both USAPA and APA. I would hope that our union would treat another airline’s crewmember as kindly as I was treated. USAirways has also been superb, treating me as if I was a paying passenger.

I am also thankful for the professionalism and capabilities of Captain Sullenberger, FO Skiles and FAs Dent, Dail and Welsh.  They certainly did our profession proud, and they saved my life

The amazing nature of this event continues to amaze me. Gratitude seems to be the most logical response.

Quick Takes: 10 Things Science Says Will Make You Happy

Brooke Estin of Change Fusion in Bangkok pointed me to this Yes magazine featured series on Sustainable Happiness. After hearing about my Johnny Bunko 7th lesson - Say Thanks, Every Day, she thought I'd enjoy seeing the list of things that science contends make us happy. Two of them jumped off the page at me.

#5 - Take Initiative at Work

How happy you are at work depends in part on how much initiative you take. Researcher Amy Wrzesniewski says that when we express creativity, help others, suggest improvements, or do additional tasks on the job, we make our work more rewarding and feel more in control.

# 8 - Say Thank You Like You Mean It

People who keep gratitude journals on a weekly basis are healthier, more optimistic, and more likely to make progress toward achieving personal goals, according to author Robert Emmons. Research by Martin Seligman, founder of positive psychology, revealed that people who write “gratitude letters” to someone who made a difference in their lives score higher on happiness, and lower on depression—and the effect lasts for weeks.

Read the rest.